"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.] "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

[pause] "Yes, it is."

[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

[muffled] "Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

[still muffled] "I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

[clear again] "No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle --it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power--!?! ...[AAAAAAARGH!] A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!" [slam]

Nice TMFT, that one had me laughing right out of my chair.

And since it's on the topic of customer service, the dumbest thing a customer ever said to me when I was working as a lifeguard was "Is there anyway you can make the water less wet?"

I told him that unfortunately there wasn't. He got out of the pool and said "Oh well, too wet for me today. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow." He then left the pool. I never saw him again, and I still don't have nay idea what he was going on about.

that was beautiful, i didnt quite expect that punchline till the end.

Reminds me of one of the "legends" that was going around my call center when I was being trained. Supposedly this woman called in for help for her cellphone; whenever she tried to answer a call, the phone would turn itself off! So whoever took the call spent a good fourty five minute testing everything that could be tested on the phone. Eventually the rep asked what button was being pressed, and the customer says "the Press When Ringing button!" what? "you know, P.W.R.".

That's fucking fantastic! And anyone who's worked in customer service could believe it.

I've been there and done that.

had a guy asking why his DSL wasnt wrking...when hurricanes had just riped the area he was in out, no power, no phone lines.

I shit you not.

Then there's the jokes customer service has...
"Don't worry, sir. That's just the I-D-ten-T error. Here's how to fix it..."
"Ah, yes. In this case, that's a fatal error between the keyboard and the chair."

I've heard these over cubicle walls before.

Wondering about the I-D-ten-T error?




Still wondering?




IT10T


God I love that one

Itiot?

...Nice going. "I-D-10-T error detected."

Ah, yes. Good old User=ID Ten T. That and Pebkac (Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair)

Anyone who's ever worked tech support believes this one to not be an urban legend... it happens too often to retain any faith in humanity. I ought to try to remember some of my more classic cases for this forum(though most are likely to just be variants of things on the Computer Stupidities site.)

When good jokies get Typod huh TMFT. No better way to explain the I-D-10-t error.

Drake

Damn, I love this joke ! !!!