You think YOUR day was bad?
Just remember, it could be worse!
* The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
* A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
* A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
* Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
And finally. . . . . . .
* Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
...Your day's not so bad, is it?
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After a nasty divorce, this man decides to go on a vacation to Egypt. While there, he finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie comes about and says, "I'll give you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get DOUBLE what you wish for."
The man thinks, and says, "I wish for ten million dollars." The genie says "You know your ex-wife will get twenty million, right?" The man nods his head, and gets his money.
For his second wish, he wishes for a new sports car. Instantly, he has one and his ex-wife has two.
The genie asks, "What is your final wish?"
The man answers, "I wish I was scared half to death."