A man stood at the end of a fishing pier in Southern California. He was enthralled with the porpoises frolicking in the ocean below. He was so taken with these animals that he commented aloud,"It's a travesty that creatures as beautiful as these, so carefree and filled with life, must die. These lovely creations should be immortal.". A drunk, reclining against a pier piling, sucking on a paper sack, overheard the man and volunteered, "Well", he slurred. "If you feed them porpoises baby sea gulls.........why... they'll live forever". The first man responded, "What! You're kidding me! You mean, if I feed these porpoises some young sea gulls, they'll become immortal....live forever???" The drunk replied, "Yep! That'll do it". The man could hardly believe what he'd heard but thought, "It's worth a try. What have I got to lose". So he ran to the end of the pier, flagged a cab and ordered the driver to the nearest pet store. Purchasing half a dozen young sea gulls, the man returned by cab to the fishing pier. Unbeknownst to him, while he was away, the largest lion in the world had escaped from a local zoo and was now lying stretched out straight across the fishing pier. The lion was so large that his hind feet dangled over one side of the pier and his front paws hung over the other. The lion was tossing his maned head and growling ferociously. Access to the pier was blocked. The man was taken aback, momentarily confused,confounded, puzzled...well, you get the idea. Then, assessing the situation he relized the only way to get to the end of the pier to feed the young gulls to the porpoises so that they might become immortal was to somehow get past this lion. If he waited until the lion was looking away, he could run and jump across the lion's back and be off down the pier with his precious cargo. So, waiting for just the right moment, he poised himself for action. Then, as the beast looked away, the man lunged forward, running right at the lion lying straight across the pier. Running as fast as he could, he mustered his strength and lept into the air. Suddenly numerous police cars converged on the pier. They arrested the man, took him downtown and booked him for:










"Attempting to cross a straight lion with young gulls for immortal porpoises".

Gives the compulsory groan. (Why do we do that?)

Nice one Ginny!

LOL

Boy now THAT was a STRETCH

Yeah, but I still liked it. And besides, you should stretch now and again. Don't want those muscles cramping up....

Tru tru

groaner... but definitely one of the most stretched puns ive ever seen... i knew it was a pun because it wasn't making any sense...

its not clicking in my head, some1 help me out plz

Lion=Line
Gulls=Girls
Immortal=Immoral
Porpoises=Purposes

I think I can pull out a better one:

Gahndi, the spiritual leader of India for many decades, visited England in the early half of the 20th century. At that point he was about halfway through his hunger strike, which was not only making him very weak but alo giving him incredibly bad breath.

Similarly, his vow of poverty meant that he wore nothing but his sari, not even sandals, so when he walked on the British cobblestones His feet would get cut and grazed very easily.

As a certain newspaper headline described him:

that's pretty good illusionist


for the record though...men don't wear sari's, it's a woman's dress, and it's spelled Gandhi