I am sad at this news. I am also so incredibly sick of Paris Hilton all over the media, seriously. My only consolation is that its a B-Grade horror movie and she'll probably die in the first half of the movie. Or at least I hope they will. Like the N'Sync Jedi.

The movie is called House of Wax for those who missed it. Can you guess what its about?

I saw a preview for that at Hostage. It doesn't appear to make any sense. The people are dead, but then one of them moves his/her eyes?

Oh but you see, the murderer doesn't just kill people and then make wax statues of them, they're MAGICAL, HAUNTED WAX STATUES!

I bet they win by setting the place on fire. Or maybe its a hot day.

Nope, stick some string in them and now they're magical haunted CANDLES!

No, you've got it all wrong. They defeat the haunted wax zombies by finding a retarded kid that has magic powers. He can't wipe his own ass, but he can save the world.

Wait, no. I'm thinking horror novels there, sorry.

I thought the preview looked decent, aside from Hilton, but I'll still wager that the movie will be shitty.

All I can say is it seems like they are running out of ideas for horror movies nowadays.

Actually this one's another remake. The original was a classic Vincent Price flick from all the way back in 1953, and it was apparently also the first feature film released in 3-D.


We saw the previews for the new one when we saw Constantine, and we all agreed that the main reason we'd watch that movie was just to see Paris Hilton get waxed. (kudos on the candle pun as well - masterfully done)