I figure that any girls already going to this site will forgive me for this one...

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None: Feminism can't change anything.

hehehe.

LMAO...I have to go tell that one to everyone I know...I'm going to love the dirty looks I get. I may even get bitched out! Go me!

hahaha, good luck!

*malicious* heeehheeehheehawhawahhaawwwhawww!!! (diabolically done)... im gonna love retelling this one...

That's my favorite chauvinist joke. I've been telling people that one for months now.

It's a great joke *smiles*. Try firing that one off in a lecturehall during a Women's Studies class; no, I haven't gotten to the point where I've lost the will to live just yet. They'd string me up by my Y-Chromosome fast enough to create a sonic boom.

OK...here's another

Why do brides wear white?

Because that's what color all new kitchen appliances come in.

That's pretty good!

And as for saying it to feminists, I did.
Ron Jeremy was at my school today for a talk (sat front row, that guy is awesome!!) and some girls outside were outside the bar, being all "Ewww, what a horrible guy. He's so bad. He treats girls like objects and ..." Yeah, they went on. So I told my joke that, loudly, in front of them, and then went in. They were dumb sheep, but they didn't appreciate the joke at all. Too dumb to make a quick retort, though. Ugh, girls suck.

My personal favorite chauvinist joke:

Why can't Hellen Keller drive?

She's a woman.

What's wrong with a man being promoted over a woman?

Why is she out of the kitchen in the first place?

Actually Jaeda (to stop anyone else making the obvious innuendo....), *you're* pretty cool - you did exactly what I would have done in that situation (except that I would have probably have stuck around to see the look on their faces )

Let's see, chauvinist jokes....

Q: What do you do when your wife comes into the living room and asks you to come dry the dishes?
A: Take her back into the kitchen and make sure her leash is tied PROPERLY this time.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet?
A: So they can stand close enough to the sink.

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
A: Tell her to stop being so damn lazy and get her ass in gear!

Q: What you you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
A: Nothing - you've already told her twice.

And, of course, turn-about is fair play....

Q: Why do women treat men like doormats?
A: Because once they've laid them, they can walk all over them!

I know a few of these...

Why did God create lesbians?
So feminists couldn't breed.

What's the difference between your bonus and your dick?
You don't have to beg a woman to blow your bonus.


Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

What is a wife?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

And last but not least:

How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Let her do the dishes in the dark.

Oh my god!
Those are AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks guys!!!

And Illusionist, thanks! I pride myself on not being a stereotypically retarded girl. I mean, I still wear pink, but I don't hate guys, and I shave my legs and armpits. And hiking boots? Short cropped hair? No thanks. Ugh. Silly lesbians.

hahahhahahahaha, esp the Hellen Keller one

BTW, idk if you guys have seen it, but this one State Farm commercial on tv (you know the line that has the 'true stories' about agents helping people in odd situations) had this girl who just got her license and in 10 minutes hit 2 cars. someone plz tell me why men have higher insurance rates.......