I'd almost bet that this was posted before, but I'm not sure.



"FINE"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up.
Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks -- this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"FIVE MINUTES"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last
before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"NOTHING"
This means "something," and you should be on your
toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes"
and end with "Fine."

"GO AHEAD" (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the
word "Fine."

"GO AHEAD" (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

"GO AHEAD" (With Lowered Eyebrows)
At some point in the near future, you are going to be
in some mighty big trouble.

"LOUD SIGH"
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

"SOFT SIGH"
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft
Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to
not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

"THAT'S OKAY"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

"PLEASE DO"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so
be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

"THANKS"
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're
welcome.

"THANKS A LOT"
This goes much deeper than "Thanks." A woman will
say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at
you. It signifies that you have offended her in some
callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."
Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
Send this to the men you know to warn them about
future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh

Dammit LAz, now they know we know! They'll change the Code! SH*T! Years of careful deciphering, WASTED!

Very cool man.

MJ

shhh... we still have about 30 seconds before gossip-mail alerts all women in the immediate, not so immediate, and ridiculously far vicinity. RUN!

Pst, I got a hideout. Come to me, and btw, bring beer.